I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
