we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize