Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
