you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
