She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
