I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dignity is for republicans.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I will be naked everywhere
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
