Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
