So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
