so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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