Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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