In America we eat man semen.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
