so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
