My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
40s are totally the cure
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize