You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
they're like a gay fantastic four
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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