I am puke
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
