Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
