So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
