We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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