You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize