Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
