You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
