Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
