those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
