The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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