Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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