You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
