Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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