Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
