white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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