Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
