I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
