Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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