im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
