Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
