Just fell off a train. Bad.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Your penis caused this!
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