I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
