Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
