You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
