Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
