I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
