White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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