I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
