I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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