She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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