i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
