After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
