so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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