I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
