in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
