I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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