you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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