Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
