ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
