What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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