I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
