no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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