I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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