Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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