Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
