Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
