So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
How's work?
Spinning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Mom said you looked used
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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