??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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