i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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