Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
